James Bond Jr.

 James Bond Jr.

Hasbro

On the eve of the 25th James Bond film, and the end of the Daniel Craig era, let’s take it back 30 years…to a time when the franchise lay dormant, and producers were desperate to keep 007 alive.  Since the films were tied up in legal disputes and Timothy Dalton walked away, a new Bond would heed the call to action:  Bond…James Bond…Junior?

Yeah, it’s as stupid and confusing as it sounds.  Even if you can overlook the proactively neon, early 90s appeal, how can a long-time fan get past, “Um, wasn’t Bond and only child?”  Is this a weird honorary title?  A family friend of “Uncle James?”  Well I guess if stupid “Spectre” made Blofeld a foster brother, anything goes!  Wait…forget that…how is Dr. No alive?  AND WHY IS HE GREEN?!  Action figure appeal, I guess.  Or surviving his dip into hot, radioactive water had some repercussions?  Actually, he predates the same treatment Iron Man’s nemesis, Mandarin would get…avoiding Asian stereotypes by making them “alien” looking.  BUT HE STILL LOOKS LIKE A GREEN FU MANCHU!!!

Anyway, most changes can be chalked up to "James Bond for Kids" needed a brighter color palette.  Jaws’ suit is the brightest of blues.  And Oddjob…yikes…

 

They all have true “action features” appropriate to the characters.  Jaws, has exaggerated, ratcheting teeth, and Oddjob can throw his Run DMC hat.  Dr. No has a killer grip AND an arsenal of interchangeable weapon hands.

There are a few “original”figures in the line…like Dr. Derange.  He has a Jekyll/Hyde thing going on with his gimmick. With that grin and monocle, I prefer to think of him as the new incarnation of Dr. Carl Mortner, ex-Nazi scientist and Max Zorin’s test-tube daddy from “A View to a Kill.”  Hey, if Dr. No and Oddjob survived, this guy could have Robocop-ed himself back together after that blimp explosion, right?  And maybe the suave, younger turn is actually a bit of Max that survived?!  Crazy, right?  Just wait til I try and explain the only figure I am missing:  a mohawked, pirate/biker themed character, Captain Walker D. Plank.

Resurrecting villains works, but they went full-on “Muppet Babies” for the good guys.  Horace “IQ” Boothroyd, the grandson of Q, and Gordo Leiter, son of CIA agent, Felix Leiter.  Wait…fussy Q had a very private home life?  Was Felix married  before his newly wedded wife, Della was killed by South American drug lords in “License to Kill?”  

When your world looks kinda weird
and you wish you weren't there,
close your eyes and make believe
that you could be anywhere

Did you also imagine James Bond with a half-mullet and having some sort of gym coach named Buddy Mitchell?  Whatever…At least they all pack the appropriate gadgets, chops, and kicks.

 

The line included a couple of goofy variants for Junior (Scuba gear, flight gear, and, of course, *BARF* ninja gear) and a couple of vehicles.  The sports car is the biggest and best of them.  Not too far off from an actual 80s model car, save for the lame stickers on the sides and back.  You know what’s probably not a good idea for  a “secret” agent?  GETTING CUSTOM DECALS WITH YOUR NAME AND VISAGE PLASTERED ALL OVER YOUR CAR!

Aside from that, IQ has packed it with deadly features.  Extending machine guns and barbed, battering ram grill an.  Exhaust port missiles.  Raising, bullet-proof spoiler shield.  Buzz-saw extending rims.  Plus the old favorite, passenger side ejector seat!

 

 

I’ve had a lot of fun at the expense of this silly concept, but at least the figures are unique and a blast to play with.  Until Barbara Broccoli gets over herself and the idea that 007 merchandise needs to be high-end, adult only, this line and the Sideshow Collectibles dolls from the early 2000s are as good as it gets for comprehensive Bond figures.  I am holding out hope that a “made-to-order” concept, like Super 7 does with Ninja Turtles, Thundercats, Disney, etc, can talk some sense into her and get us some James Bond “Ultimates.”  6-7 inch articulated Bond figures with accessories, character selection from across the entire film library…sigh…

Muppet Babies!
They make their dreams come true
Muppet Babies!
They'll do the same for you!

Commander Bond and the Knights of Ren

Commander Bond and the Knights of Ren

Disney Store PVC figurines - custom Hasbro figure

Since Disney stalled out on Star Wars, this leaves a large, sad gap in the 3.75inch figure line.  Yes, the Knights of Ren were a big washout (in the tradition of other cool-looking-but-armor-is-not-a-character characters, like Boba Fett and Captain Phasma), but surely my imagination could fix them if only I had plastic representations. Luckily, the Disney Store produces a similarly scaled line of PVC figurines to scratch that itch.

A set of 10 figures was $26, and included the 6 Knights, Kylo, a First Order Stormtrooper, Sith Trooper, and Jet Pack Trooper.  They are just statues, but they are highly sculpted and detailed.  Lots of nice metal weathering and mud where appropriate on the Knights.  

These guys were all given names after production (which I haven’t bothered to learn).  The one they made for the Vintage line (big ax guy) was just “Knight of Ren” on his card.  My favorite is gun arm guy.

The vintage line made a Sith Jet Trooper, but no standard jet trooper.  Which I find strange, since it was featured in one of the earliest released clips of “Rise of Skywalker” and made the cut in kiddie toys, along with the catapulting speeder thing.

 

That’s about all I’ve got on these.  They look nice and fill a hole in my collection until Disney figures out what to do with this mess in the future.  To spice up this lackluster review, I’m throwing in a custom figure.

Daniel Craig had a cameo (or at least his voice did) as a Stormtrooper in “The Force Awakens”, so I took a head from a “Golden Compass”(the atheist Narnia flop) figure, put it on a Stormtrooper Finn figure, and painted over the bloody handprint on the helmet.  I also dremeled out the helmet a bit to get it to fit better.  Quick and easy, but reminded me that I need a Galen Erso figure after all.  Rogue One sucked, but “Casino Royale” in the Star Wars galaxy is a win!

BTW...Sam Smith’s Spectre theme was awful:

Austin Powers - Space Base Playset

Austin Powers

McFarlane Toys - Mezco

also featuring the 

Space Base Playset

ReadySetz

Yeah baby!  Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery is back in full force on my toy shelf!  I had the key players (Austin and Dr. Evil) from McFarlane Toys when they came out close to twenty years ago, but a lull in current toy releases, revisiting the movies, and a trip to Ebay helped me get my mojo back. Short of a couple of Mezco variants (Sumo Fat Bastard Man and Prison Dr. Evil with Mini-Me), I picked up a well-rounded line-up for next to nothing.

The McFarlane figures that came out with "The Spy Who Shagged Me" were par for the company at the time:  little more than statues with a fair amount of accessories that they may or may not be able to hold.  They did produce some of the most realistic sculpts (again, at the time), but they were pretty fragile figures (Vanessa's hand decided it was time to snap off just for this photo shoot) and don't hold up to today's standards.  They each came with a rather large sound feature stand that took three little batteries just to say one quote.  Some of the "mint on card" pick-ups I got lacked the sound feature, but came with some corroded batteries!  Yay!  Let that be a lesson to you: they are TOYS.  Take the TOYS out of the box and play and display!

Mezco produced a wave for "Goldmember."  These are a little bit cartoony or exaggerated in the sculpts (like my Goonies figures), but have far more articulation than the McFarlane figures.  I saw somewhere that they had a Foxxy Cleopatra prototype that didn't make it to production, which is a shame.  Especially since someone wasted plastic on Heather Graham, who I am convinced is only a good actress at playing parts where she is supposed to be a bad actress (See "Bowfinger").

As a fan of these movies, (and the 007 franchise they spoof lovingly) I wish there were more bad guys in the line-up:  Frau Farbissna, Number Two, Mustafa, Random Task, Paddy O'Brien, etc.  And could Michael Caine really want that much money for his likeness, or did they not think anyone would want a Nigel Powers figure?  Has there ever been a Michael Caine figure in any toy line?  Hmmm...something to look into.

Complete or not, I had a great time displaying these figures on the new Space Base playset from ReadySetz.  As you may have seen in previous reviews, I also have their Urban Playset.  These are huge, fun, foldable playsets that are great for toy displays/photography and, of course, play.  Highly recommended for both collectors and kids!  Austin Powers won the toss for first use, which was a hard call for a lot of other lines I collect.  Doctor Who, Alien, cosmic-themed Marvel Legends (Fantastic Four, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc), and the X-Men (cosmic adventures in the Claremont era, Asteroid M) are all in line to get some time in on this baby.

My mini-Austin Powers shopping spree didn't end with the figures.  I picked up a "Big Boy" bank, a guide to all the movies, a Johnny Lightning Shaguar die-cast car, and this odd Upper Deck costume piece card, which claims to have a tiny piece of Austin's blue, crushed velvet pants from the first movie embedded in it.  Fab!