Conan the Barbarian

 Conan the Barbarian

Super 7

This particular version of the Conan legend may not be on the top of my list of 80s franchises, but it’s still noteworthy for many reasons.  Arnold and his muscles are in top form, ready to jump into even bigger better things down the road (He’ll be back...)  James Earl Jones is always a formidable force. And there’s plenty of testosterone-fueled violence on top of a decent helping of sex and nudity!  Blood, guts, and glory...the kind of stuff they now teach as negatives in our “progressive” society.  So it must be worth a watch, eh?

Eh, if not, at least these figures fit with your Masters of the Universe collection twice-fold.  First off, Conan is part “My Two Dads” for the He-man (Flash Gordon being the Paul Reiser?) concept.  And the second, these figures are quite literally cut from the same mold.  Super 7 took over from Mattel some years back with the MOTU Classics line, and they’ve given the basic body bucks a longer run for our money.  

Are they perfect?  No.  The articulation is a bit lacking (i.e. no double-jointed knees and elbows), but there are still plenty of things to like about them, especially translated to the Conan character.  I like the slightly larger, exaggerated physique.  I also don’t mind that this softens some of the sculpt.  It adds to the fantasy appeal and, again, allows a seamless integration into Eternia. I can still tell that this is Arnold, even without every bulging vein. 

This Conan is “Pit Fighter Conan” from closer to the beginning of the film.  He may not be poster iconic, but I love this outfit:  all the spikes on the helmet, the rugged furs (again, adding to the He-man aesthetic), extra battle gauntlets and blades.  He also has the Atlantean sword and a broken version of his father’s sword, so you have plenty of options to dispatch foes.  

You also get a regular head, and a screaming head (“Crom!”). The ball joint was a bit tight getting these on and off.  I might attempt to sand it down a bit.  They look great swapped onto various He-man figures as well.

Not that James Earl Jones isn’t a big, intimidating guy, but the exaggerated body might be less appropriate for baddie, Thulsa Doom.  But, hey, chalk it up to the bulky armor...which looks spectacular.  Move over, King Hiss!  If Conan can fit in with the Masters no problem, then this suit gives Thulsa an automatic membership into the league of Snakemen.  

Scales/Chain mail sculpting is always a win.  And if armor wasn’t enough, he’s packin’ five blades.  The two larger blades come in removable sheathes...puzzling that they don’t clip onto the figure in any way, but whatever.  

Thulsa has a helmeted and unhelmeted.  I think the sculpt/likeness is stronger here than it is on Conan.  Is this they first James Earl Jones figure proper?  Barring the voiceover work for Darth Vader?  In any case, very cool!

 

I like these, though I’m not sure I’ll be adding any more characters or variants from the franchise.  At close to $50 a figure, I’m just not sure I’m that big a fan.  Still I do like these figures in execution.  And for the fact that Vikor now has a riding partner.